The Wisdom of Saying No
I had the great opportunity to support the Women @ Google with my Talk “The Wisdom of Saying No”. And I felt truly blessed to lead and witness the discussion in the room.
What can trigger us to agree even if we already have enough on our plates?
How we can change our reaction?
In what way does it affect us and the people around us if we do not say No to the things we do not want to do or have in our lives and careers?
And what are the benefits for us and others when we say No?
What does it take to say No?
At the end I also asked them what they took away from the talk and what they liked to have had more off. I like to share a few of the responses with you as I found them truly inspiring:
My biggest takeaway…
It made me think about the impact to ourselves and to others when we don’t say No!
Understanding the cost of not saying No.
The diagram showing the space between the request and the action, and listening to the first emotion / reaction.
Often we do it to ourselves with the assumptions, habits, beliefs, so taking space to consider can really help create awareness and build the muscle.
Calling out the triggers where we’re on autopilot and missing the opportunity to say no was tremendously helpful.
That saying No, more often than not, enables better solutions than if you say yes.
I learned new techniques for saying no, especially when people do not directly ask you.
I would have liked more off…
To my delight everybody wanted to have more time to talk about the triggers, the different situations we can find ourselves in and some even wanted more time to role-play solutions. While some of that is hard to fit into 1-h presentation or webinar it got me thinking what a workshop could look like and I will update the playbook everybody received to support this. Stay tuned.
If you want to know what saying No could look like for you,
I I invite you to join my next live webinar: Sep 19, 2019 @ 11am PST.
I also want to share inspiration I got from the discussion yesterday. One woman brought up the importance of knowing what you want the “extra space” to be for when saying no. It highlights that it is much easier to say no to something when you have a clear goal or reason what you want to do instead.
Reflection for you
Take a piece of paper and split it in two columns. Create a list of all the things you have on your plate and a list of all the things you really want to do. Add a time component to it. How much time do you spend on the things you want to do vs. the ones you don’t want to do? Compare and eliminate the things you do not want on your To-Do List.
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